There are certain posts I wish I could automate and just have a computer write for me. Like, look Kim Zolciak, despite telling Andy Cohen a few weeks ago she was no longer with him, is now back with her walking ATM machine Big Poppa. Why must you lie to yourself, Kim? You’re hooked on that cash flow. Just own it, girl. I guess that means she’s no longer a lesbian as well?

Also, another thing that is probably a lie: Kim is claiming to be holding out for more money or she won’t return for season three of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Why do I think that’s a lie? I’ve determined that Kim needs three things to live: white wine, Dior dresses, and attention. The very last one can only be supplied by staying on television. Why let a good thing go?

[Image: Bravo/Quantrell Colbert; Via I'm Not Obsessed]